The notion, for lack of a better word, medical gas lighting. We are all going to have or go through something at some point. The bigger model that you're talking about, even beyond your immediate conditions, i think is relevant to everybody. It's not in my hands any more. I find that hard to swallow. And if this is my new state of normal, then why i can't do any of the things that i wanted to do?  i'm very detailed as far as when i set a goal for myself,. i think about it, i pray about it, and i try to work to accomplish.

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