Is He Getting Defensive?

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The goal with any of this, because it sounds like the dynamic has been set up that you propose a new idea, he gets defensive. And then it just feels like a back and forth, a tug of war attack. The goal is to think of yourselves on the same side of the table. Even if it's not in his yet, in your mind, you are collaborators trying to solve problems together. Sometimes when people are constantly putting down ideas or refusing to try new things, rather than saying we need an entire new performance review system, which can feel overwhelming.

Kim’s boss hired her to run operations and human resources at the company he founded, where he is one of four partners. Six months in, she’s baffled by his mix of behaviors, all of which have made her job much harder than it should be. He attacks nearly every modification or upgrade to a process, policy, or program she suggests. He refuses to listen to feedback. The other partners don’t dare to intervene. If it’s his (outdated) way or the highway, why did they bring her in?

She needs his support in order to make any sort of progress. What should she do? What should you do if you find yourself in a similar situation?

In this episode, Amy G talks with Kim about her situation and recommends tactics for her to try. By the end, Kim has a plan to temper his pessimism and gain his trust.

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