was the fully having a sexting nude with his nutritionist he was a professional athlete and he would show me his nutritionist all the time like she recommended the bison and i'm gonna eat the bison because he's like her advice is

like so great he was trying to get

to her he would talk about her to me and i remember when he opened it she was not the first person i went to because i was like okay okay her but you know what's crazy i didn't even need him to open it the minute i asked him and i put it down in front of him i pulled it out from my back i said open it he went ghost white i didn't even need him to open it i was like oh i'm not like i knew and then i saw it and i remember going into the bathroom throwing up and i think we can talk about this a little bit which is i wouldn't say it's like embarrassment but there's like a level of for five seconds because this is also the person you love yeah your love doesn't go away the minute you see it you hate them but like right yeah five seconds go i was in love with this person you there is a part of you that wants to be like no

no no no way yeah like

it's not real it's not

real and it is but it is and it's like that gut punch yeah and it's

like do you have any advice and all thing two of like for someone sitting there that just found out that they were getting cheated on like how do you mentally wrap your brain around being in love with someone that you trusted and then the ultimate betrayal and trying to be like i want to go have them hug me because they're usually the person that consoles me but you

all so fucked me and like i would be like look maybe have that moment right now give yourself an hour to have that moment or that night and then get away from them like like obviously we're still in the same house but we are most definitely in different rooms we have like i know exactly like when he's coming back to the house and i know i to like i we do not cross pass that being said like as much as you can have that conversation do what you need to do get your ducks in a row and then get away from them and don't don't allow them to like come back into your life because again if it's somebody who's willing who is capable or talented enough enough of being able to create those lies and stuff they'll be they'll be able to create something to to pull you back

in at some point and then so you have

to separate you have to go no contact you're

so right and then also if you go back they're just going to be smarter next time yeah and that is i think the worst of like there's going to be so many things that are said to you but i also believe like there's one thing if someone comes to you and tells you and it's like i did this i feel disgusting i'm sorry when you find it when they're apologizing they're sorry they got caught oh

yeah keep that on you're going to apologize because i've had a lot of women that i've spoken to online since all of this have said my ex was the same way he was angry he was yelling at me he was pissed and it's like it's yeah it's this the house of cards has fallen and they're angry about that they're not so much like remorseful or upset it's not about how you feel it's about the fact that all the effort that went into creating this to building that little house of cards yeah got blown over so fast and

now what and i fucking love how much you talk about your friends because i and i also love how you talk about this distortion of reality like the great estera parell always talks about like when you get cheated on your reality becomes so distorted and you are like wobbling essentially you can't see you're straight because you're the person i actually loved most and trusted the most in my life and you just ripped the rug out underneath me yeah you have to immediately surround yourself and i know you're embarrassed part of you also sometimes doesn't want to tell anyone because you're like because

you're like oh my god now i'm that person or you know and then

if you tell people it's

over right once it's out well it's like they always say to like whenever if you and your partner just get in like petty fights like don't tell your friends because in your they always say that right but it's like in this if it's this big of a thing you got to do it you got to do it and you got to surround yourself with your friends as quickly as possible and then that way they can also hold you accountable and be like absolutely fucking not yep you are not allowed like this is not happening and then also if you are in a situation where you do have a gas lighter a manipulator and you have a friend over you have someone sitting right there going no i heard what they said i saw how they were it's not just you because that was my big thing is it was like there was no one else there and so i would question everything yeah and then my friends that were you know at the house like again like when he came back i was like are you guys here it's like well thank fucking god see i was like so you guys saw that right like i was like my anxiety is going through the door if i'm like oh my god i'm like but see that's what it's been like and they're like okay yeah so now we see the reality because otherwise you

know and that's again i just think it's so important to talk through this because when you're in it it almost becomes impossible to see straight yeah and you have to remember it's to it you're you're too fucking close and there's no like you have to act like we just keep saying and and i always say it back to myself when i have friends that go through it like you loved this person 30 seconds before you just found it yeah so that isn't gone immediately the hurt the anger all of it but you still love that person so you need someone you have to remember what your friends have no ulterior motives other than making sure you're good and so just catch yourself if you're going against your friends in that moment it's because you're trying to hold on to something and let them be the anchor to pull you the other way because they're actually just looking out for you

yeah and talk to them about it yeah if you're sad you missed them or you want okay talk about like good times and stuff like that talk to your friends about it like and then just but keep that that no contact i'm telling you that wasn't i think that was the whole like in my life blah blah blah because i knew right that i would go no contact i'm so proud i knew that that's that's but i knew even even if it was just a breakup i knew i was gonna go no contact well how did you know that i just felt it in my gut that that was like the way to go and like in the past i had not done that with other relationships yeah and then like i've been ticked on a lot the last like three years and i would see stuff about that and i was like yeah okay i think that that's like in this situation that's what i would have to do yeah and i think that that was you know part of what was like oh i don't know the troubling to him or something what that you wouldn't speak

to him yeah what did he expect right that we would do

the shorts and kenie like dog custody thing like we're not doing

that no you're getting the dog absolutely oh my what is a Jennifer Kohl is like i'm getting the dog i'm taking the damn dog fuck you oh that's so good wait oh so you're like i'm fucking taking the dog well i paid for her adoption my name is on her and she loves you i paid her vet vet bills i take took her for walks i gave her baths like see are you know things that i would do that he wasn't doing he gets the batteries you take care of the fucking dog yeah dude no but i get what you're saying and that's another point when you are so strong to be like i'm not speaking to you this is a boundary mother

fucker oh it enrages them yeah i think the the setting of boundaries has been oh you know well and you saw him at lisa's breaking like i don't know if it was real or not honestly dude i felt a little bit like a performance to be honest well but then also of course i'm going to be jaded because i don't trust right and we have to it just yelled at me and then the day after he yelled at me again after the ritual scene so it you know it's hard to say but that being said the biggest thing that he was upset about in that moment was that he doesn't get to have another conversation with me because i said you don't get another one it's done like say what you need to say no because we won't be doing that and by the way my friend Meredith and my other friends like they she's the capricorn queen of my dreams she made a spread she that was like who's going to be staying with me what night i did not stay alone for weeks and even after i went i had friends fly in from new york to make sure i got to the wedding in mexico that i went to and then even after i came back from mexico i still had friends that would stay with me every night make sure i ate make sure i said they were like they had like their own group text now they've friends that didn't know each other before become friends that i've like always wanted them like you guys would love each other like now they're like now it's like honestly like the the community that is our friends like on and off the show is like the most incredible group of girls gays and gays like i've never like honestly i could not like i don't know how i could write like if i was a super talented writer i couldn't have

created that in my life yeah like absolutely incredible and that's what i think again you kind of talk about like when you're going through it let people actually help you guys because doing it alone is torture yeah you can't do it alone you can't or you

go back to the one person you love the most which is the person that hurt or you see yeah or you yeah you think you can yeah and then you end up you know it's just not healthy or you end up self-medicating or doing my my classic way of coping is isolation or sleeping and it's like oh yeah he

always he kept bringing that up like she just sleeps all the time like um yeah maybe you should look inward that is your partner okay or depressed or like what's going on like like maybe her dog just died like be there for her get in bed yeah get in bed

get in bed get

in bed bitch like what the fuck

we're like that isn't that where sex happens right you want sex

about she's laying in bed all day get in the bed i'm in the bed she's in bed naked waiting go in talk to her emotionally connect with her and then maybe right men are so dumb like what that's right now that we say it it sounds so she's in bed all day and you're bitching about not getting fucked what what are we missing here Tom not in

the place where it happens dude okay rumor

on the street is you're not single is this like a situation ship are we in a full relationship are we just fucking are we having like what are we doing what are we doing Ariana what's going on um

i'm really really enjoying myself um i am seeing someone they live across the country in New York so obviously you know it's kind of there's that whole aspect to it um but i would say it's like really really great it's good

and you guys met

where we met at a wedding when like literally 10 or 11 days after i found this out which people are like what like are you okay literally i just met this person right we did not start dating when i met them right we just started talking right and then we were talking and talking and talking and it progressed and it's right you had

a moment to grieve you're grieving still but you can also fucking go see people and also

it's like really nice like on like okay so i met him at this wedding and all we did was talk like we stayed up all night just talking like that's it that's all you wanted literally all i wanted

i was like quality time oh what is this

and then he flew to where he lives and i flew where i am and then we just FaceTimed and talked and talked and it was just like oh my gosh like i'm getting to know this person and the conversations we were having were like so amazing it's not like we were like we met and we're dating you know but like it was really great and now i've been able i have been going to New York for work and so when i go to New York for work i've been getting to see him and it's like so nice having fun

that's what i think also people don't understand is like there's nothing wrong with any timeline post something that traumatic happens you have to do what feels right and so people that are like oh my god it's so soon or yeah like well then you do like if

i was like down on one knee proposing to this man then

we'd be having intervention right then we need to like reel it in

but like you know going luckily for New York being able to go every couple of weeks this last this just this last month yeah and just work see my friends see him and like just really like love life and honestly like having someone that literally will be like we'll be on the phone and he'll be like you know we're working we're doing stuff right he's like hey can we just get like five minutes where we're like we just like have like quality time on the phone

i'm like are you kidding me my dream the past nine years literally do so i'm

like

okay great this is just great how okay give all the ladies advice of like nine years is a long motherfucking time how do you not overthink it and allow yourself to be with someone that's not the person you've been with for nine years it's like a little bit of a mindfuck to be like open to getting back out

there open into anything yeah i think honestly if you are overthinking it be honest with yourself that you're overthinking it and just say like i'm overthinking this yeah or this is where i'm at be honest i think that honesty and vulnerability two of the sexiest things i think in any person yes and even if you're just like going out on a bunch of like casual dates with multiple people be honest with those people and if that if they're like not down for it then they're not for you anyways yeah and honestly just like being honest with yourself too and saying like this is where i'm at this is what i'm ready for it this is what i'm not ready for because then the day that i met the sky i literally said this is what i can handle i can handle us talking i can handle you telling me i'm pretty um i can maybe handle a smooch but beyond that that's that's it and he was very enthusiastically like okay great that sounds great i just want to hang out right so i was like okay cool like maybe like just be very clear about your boundaries and what you're okay

right it's like you don't have to go in and be like so i have to be a

fully but it's like hey and honestly accepting like um happiness and good things while you're healing there's no

like no nothing bad about that there is nothing people that are judging are also just like either you haven't been through it or like you went through it and you did something different that didn't work for you and try to judge like

let everyone do what they want to do because we're all different people and we all are in different situations and again like i said someone does we were saying that someone does some shit like this to you that door is slammed shut it is way easier to grieve um a relationship or that is that cut and dry yeah then it is yeah is one that isn't i can't

believe this i just remembered you said his family didn't reach out to you because they have they still not reach out Tom's no it's kind of weird no yeah i

mean i understand like what would they say i guess i would just think they'd be like hey this sucks like

wishing you the best just that period trust that like nine years there was some respect i thought yeah not great um okay this is a fresh start yeah and the beginning of a new era for you what do you want for yourself

i want independence on like every level i want to be able to be completely financially independent i'm just like god i don't have like a ton of tied things but i want to be like financially independent and successful um i want to open my sandwich shop with katie and have that be a total hit which i think it will be what street is it on

Robertson