Transcripts and Observations on Listening

Today is going to be a little different - some adjustments.

In Episode 100 -  you'll get to deconstruct how I listen to the guests. I've interviewed over the past 100 episodes.

If time allows after the interview has formally concluded, I have a simple and consistent habit where I ask the guests, just one question -

What did you notice about my listening?

Now, this is a Level Four listening technique.

It's designed as a way for me to make incremental improvements in each conversation.

When I hear what people notice in the way I listen, I am making some very simple notes in my mind, that's a very important listening signal, make sure I continue to do it the next time.

Occasionally people will highlight things that surprise me. They highlight things that wow, I didn't realize that was a listening signal for the person speaking.

It's critical to understand that when you listen deeply, gently, thoroughly, carefully, you will change the way the speaker communicates.

Not just what they say, not just what they think, but also what they make of the conversation, what it means for them.

What can you expect today?

You'll hear reflections of 11 people and their perspectives on how I was listening to them. You'll notice some very, very consistent themes. And yet you'll notice some subtle variations as well.

You'll hear from six females, five males from deaf and blind people you'll hear from people whose first language is English and you'll hear from people whose home language isn't English.

You'll hear from authors, musicians, professors, former military leaders, researchers, psychotherapists, and a range of many others. As you listen to them, deconstruct my listening, please keep these points in mind. This is just the way I listen. My listening context is very specific.

Listening is situational. It's relational and contextual.

The way I listen during an interview is with a listening orientation for the audience, for you. There are many questions I would love to ask the people that I interview yet, they're only appropriate for me. They're not going to help you and I play with this duality while I'm listening.

How do I stay in the moment long enough - not to listen, but to listen on behalf of you.

In chapter one of the upcoming book - how to listen and at the end of every chapter in the book, we have a series of three invitations, they're practices that we invite the reader or the audiobook listener to explore, we invite them to explore something to practice because we recommend that you read the book one chapter per week while practicing a technique during that week.

So at the end of chapter one, we pose these three invitations and.

1. Who's the best listener, you know, and what's one thing they do well?
2. When was the last time somebody fully and deeply listened to you? and what did they do well during that conversation?
3. When you think about that conversation where you were deeply listen to, how did you think speak and feel differently as a result?

I'm delighted to be engaging with a range of the Deep Listening Ambassador community as they provide Advanced Reader Copy feedback on this and Bailey was kind enough to send me a photo of the exercise that I just mentioned from chapter one of the book where she very thoughtfully, thoroughly and deeply considered those three invitations, and came to some interesting insights, all of her own.

It gives me a lot of joy to be celebrating episode 100 with you and I want to thank you

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