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The Relationship Between Our Emotions and Our Grudges
Anger is something that we experience subjectively, but we also experience it in embodied kind of way. We can be on the lookout for clues that the person is really as bad as we feel like they are based on the behavior. Even when we encounter things that might help us get out of that loop, we're inclined to dismiss them and instead tell the story in a way that supports our remaining in that grudge mode.