Applying Cognitive Load Across Life

Ready to do deeper work? If this conversation resonates and you’re feeling stirred to look more honestly at your own story, visit experienceonsite.com or call 1-800-341-7432. Onsite offers immersive therapeutic experiences just outside Nashville and San Diego—spaces designed to help you slow down, look under the hood, and reimagine what’s possible in your relationships and life.

Have you ever wondered why the villain's journey matters more than the hero's? What if the worst thing that ever happened to you could become your greatest competitive advantage?

Donald Miller didn’t set out to become one of the most influential voices in modern communication. He started by trying to write his way out of pain. From feeling invisible as a kid in Texas to becoming a bestselling author and the creator of StoryBrand, Donald’s work is built on one core truth: clarity creates connection.

In this conversation, Donald opens up about the experiences that shaped him—father abandonment, poverty, ambition, and the inner villain stories we rarely examine. He shares why understanding the villain’s journey matters as much as the hero’s, how pain can become fuel rather than a prison, and why one of the most powerful phrases in leadership and parenting is simply, “Will you forgive me?”

Donald and Miles explore how cognitive load impacts nearly every area of life—from relationships and parenting to business, culture, and politics. Donald reflects on becoming a father at 49, the fear of loving something you can’t control, and why congruence—not perfection—is the most effective parenting tool we have. He also offers a thoughtful critique of modern political messaging and the incentives that keep problems unsolved.

This is a conversation about responsibility, healing, and learning to tell the truth—first to yourself, then to others.

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In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How Pain Can Become the Birthplace of Purpose
• Why the Villain’s Journey Deserves as Much Attention as The Hero’s
• How Reducing Cognitive Load Helps People Actually Hear You
• Why "Will You Forgive Me" Is as Powerful as "I Love You" 
• How One Single Sentence at Onsite Unlocked Years of Stuck Pain 
• Why Congruence Is the Most Powerful Parenting and Leadership Tool You Have 
• How to Know When to Get on the Plane and When to Stay Home

What We Discuss:

00:00:00 Intro – Welcome to Human School00:01:37 The Origin Story of Human School00:06:55 When StoryBrand Got Busy and Life Took Over00:08:38 The Three-Ring Binder That Changed Everything at Onsite00:10:26 How Onsite Reshaped Don’s Relationships00:13:07 Connection Is Where You Get the Most Meaning00:14:16 How Early Wounds Quietly Fuel Ambition00:19:12 Heroes, Villains, and The Stories We Avoid Examining00:24:10 "Onsite Healed and Redirected My Villain Story" 00:30:03 When Don Realized Writing Was an Effective Tool for Struggle00:38:15 How Don Went to Onsite in His Mid-Thirties and Everything Changed00:45:27 Having Your Heart Run Around the Room - The Fear and Wonder of Parenthood00:49:51 The Power of an Apology to Your Kid00:54:10 A Costly Business Mistake00:57:50 Why Leaders Fall into the Wizard of Oz Trap01:01:29 From Memoirs to Business Messaging

01:06:15 The Spectrum Brands Story: "Kids Love Aquariums" 01:08:30 The Jeb Bush Campaign vs. "Build a Wall" 

01:10:08 Why Cognitive Load Applies to Parenting, Music, and Everything 

01:14:05 The Doubling Tool: How Therapists Reduce Cognitive Load in Real Time01:17:48 How Onsite Gave Don His Sister Back01:19:26 AI, Clarity, and Communication01:25:20 Why Political Incentives Rarely Reward Solutions01:33:42 Why Nuance Doesn't Work in Storytelling  01:37:07 America’s Capacity for Self-Correction01:42:21 WeeklySoundbite.com and Don’s current work