Dougie gets it on (or, more accurately, Naomi Watts gets HER Dougie on), guest Fran Hoepfner pitches her artisanal slime for adults (don’t steal the idea), and we relitigate LOST for the hundredth time in this penultimate episode of our Twin Peaks: The Return coverage. Can adults get mono? Why is it so hard for Lucy and Andy to buy a chair? THAT is the Audrey Horne plot? Will someone please have sympathy for David Sims, who isn’t going gray yet and desperately wants a cool subway-themed videogame?

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