"What i'm after is more of a color than a ledgerYeah and that's what we've been saying this whole time a ledger says i met patrix stuart at a party mm-hmm i just don't think the world works like that," she said. "Clean up my game get the static off the radio so i can hear my song and feel my connection to reality to life itself without fear without judgment and and without guilt right?" She added, "To me a marriage and and having a commitment and having kids is doing that but that's really not."