You Don't Have to Be Too Much of This

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"There is something that is quote shameful about you just having access to something which makes you laugh out loud or like, because it's almost like, you don't have the right or the privilege to buy yourself out of this experience," she says. "I remember after my nephew was killed, having this very visceral response to finding any humor or joyBecause I didn't want my family or my nephew's family to feel as if I didn't care."

Have you ever had a moment or experience, maybe even an entire season of life that was so hard, so filled with struggle and, maybe even, grief, loss and uncertainty, that the very idea of feeling or accessing any kind of big or meaningful or sustained happiness or joy just completely left you? Yeah, we’ve all been there on some level.

But, what if, even in those moments where the big happy, or the big joy just isn’t accessible, there was still a way to dip into fleeting moments of lightness, or what my dear friend and guest today, Cyndie Spiegel, calls microjoys? One that gives you just enough of a glimmer of hope and connection, ease and maybe even laughter, that it keeps you going long enough to begin to emerge back into a state of more sustained spaciousness and possibility?

Cyndie is a beloved storyteller-turned-writer and an igniter of power conversation whose new book, Microjoys: Finding Hope (Especially) When Life Is Not Okay, is a revelation. She first began holding on to what she calls microjoys during a devastating season that saw her mom pass from cancer, her nephew murdered, her brother struggling to recover from a stroke, and her own diagnosis of cancer, all while navigating a global pandemic. That’s what we’re diving into today, both the notion of microjoys, along with myriad ways to access these moments and experiences.

You can find Cyndie at: Website | Dear Grown Ass Women | Instagram

If you LOVED this episode you’ll also love the conversations we had with Ocean Vuong about navigating struggle and making peace with his story.

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