The Five Secrets of Effective Communication

This is the last live therapy podcast with Mark, the physician who was convinced he was a failure as a father because of his difficulties forming a close, loving relationship with his oldest son. Although the session appeared to go well, we can’t be sure until we see Mark’s end of session mood ratings on the Daily Mood Log and on the Brief Mood Survey and and Evaluation of Therapy Session. David emphasizes that therapists’ perceptions of patients are notoriously inaccurate, but most therapists are unaware of this because they don’t use the rigorous testing procedures at the start and end of sessions.

To review Mark's partially completed Daily Mood Log, CLICK HERE. Jill and David will ask him to complete the additional negative thoughts on his own after the session.

To review mark's end of session Brief Mood Survey and Evaluation of Therapy Session, CLICK HERE.

After David review’s the phenomenal changes Mark reported from the start to the end of the session, David asks if the ratings were genuine, or, as some listeners might suspect, faked in order to try to please the therapists. Mark bursts into tears and says, in a choked voice, that it was a life-changing experience.

After the end of the session, David and Fabrice discuss a number of highlights from the work with Mark:

• The testing indicated a complete or near-complete elimination of symptoms. In 2 ½ hours, Jill and David have essentially completed an entire course of psychotherapy. Although there may still be some work to be done with Mark, the hard part has already been completed.
• David emphasizes that he now views psychotherapy as a procedure to be done at one sitting, much like surgery, with brief follow-up visits, rather than a long, drawn out procedure meeting once pre week for months or even many years. And although a single 2 or 2 1/2 hour session may be more costly than a traditional 50-minute hour, it can be vastly more cost-effective Than dozens of sessions with little or no progress. In addition, it is vastly better for the patient who walks out feeling good today, rather than having to endure weeks, months, or even many years of traditional talk therapy or antidepressant drug therapy.
• David and Fabrice talk about the fact that no one is permitted to feel happy all the time, and that Mark’s negative thoughts and feelings WILL return, David defines a “relapse” as one minute or more of feeling lousy. Given that definition, we will ALL relapse forever! But it doesn’t have to be a problem for Mark if he is prepared for this, and knows how to pop out of the relapses quickly, rather than getting stuck in them. This is where Relapse Prevention Training (RPT) becomes so important following the initial dramatic recovery. RPT only takes about 30 minutes and is easy to learn, and will perhaps be the topic for a future Feeling Good Podcast if our listeners express an interest in it.
• David discusses the difference between an Internal Solution and an External Solution. In this session, David and Jill have guided Mark in the Internal Solution—this means crushing the negative thoughts that triggered Mark’s feelings of unhappiness, anxiety, shame, failure, and anger for years, if not decades. Now that he is feeling so much better about himself, he may want some help with the External Solution. This will involve learning how to develop a more loving relationship with his son using tools like the Relationship Journal and the Five Secrets of Effective Communication. This will be far easier now that Mark is no longer using up all his energy beating up on himself and feeling depressed and inadequate.
• David wraps up by talking about the true wealth we have as therapists. Although we won’t develop the riches of a Bill Gates doing psychotherapy, we do have the fabulous and precious opportunity to see people as they really are inside, and to witness miracles like the one we saw in the session with Mark.
• David expresses the hope that listeners have benefitted by listening. Although we are all different, most of us have had the painful experience, like Mark, of believing we were somehow failures, or inferior, or defective, or simply not good enough. We are deeply indebted to Mark’ courage and generosity in giving us the opportunity to see the solution to this ancient and almost universal human problem!

There are many resources for listeners who want to learn more about TEAM-CBT, including:

• David’s exciting two-day and four-day training workshops, listed on his website, feelinggood.com.
• Tons of free resources for patients and therapists at feelinggood.com. Please sign up using the widget in the upper right hand corner of any page on his website and you will receive email notifications and links to every post.
• David’s psychotherapy eBook entitled Tools, Not Schools of Therapy.
• David’s Tuesday psychotherapy training groups at Stanford, which are co-led Jill Levitt, PhD and Helen Yeni-Komshian, MD. The training is free of charge to Bay Area and northern California therapists. You will have the chance to do free personal work, too!
• David’s famous Sunday hikes, also free to members of the training groups.
• Paid online and in-person weekly TEAM-CBT training groups, plus intensive TEAM-CBT treatment programs, at the Feeling Good Institute in Mt. View California.
• In addition, many TEAM-CBT training and treatment programs are now offered in many cities throughout the US and Canada. For more information, visit feelinggood.com or www.feelinggoodinstitute.com.