When i was a young boy, i went to my friend's sister's house. She was not diagnosed mentally retarded, but she was incredibly dumb. We said, wouldn't it be funny if we left a fake ransom note her? She won't believe it. That's what being an american means to me. You see, everybody has a different version of the joys and the promises and challenges of this land. But to me, americas about having an abortion with a gun. It's about finding friends that you only are friends with because they have drugs. It'sabout getting a job you hate in the hopes that one day you can get a job youhate that pays more

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