The King's Secrets

The last time a member of the royal family was rubbed with oil, his mum had to pay £12 million. It is amber grease, amber grease, whale vomit, and a secretion massage from the anal glands of a sivit. So you can kind of see why they went for the organic vegan option. I'm hoping that he overdoes it and emerges from Westminster Abbey with a little bit of tiger face paint on his web. The BBC news website was trying to explain, it's sort of like a royal wedding, but instead with the coronation, the king is in fact marrying the state. Does he secretly have a republic on the side the whole time?