How I Met a Girl That Wanted Me

"I'm a fucking headliner for ever. I'm not going to go open for some punk," he says of his new gig in New York. "You're just walking around with skills and talent and you don't know what to do." He's been married twice, but this time the woman wants him to be too old so they won't have kids. The comedian is working witch cubs when he isn't performing stand-ups.