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How to Rewrite a Scene
The Iron Council by China Mieville opens with the sentence, a man runs. And I just think that's such a good opening line. Simplicity is such a fundamental tool to have at your disposal. You can always create stark power and a sense of understated command by plopping a sentence into your narrative that only uses words of one syllable. So rewrite the scene using only single syllable words. Of course as always you have ten minutes, ready, go.