I didn't realize how much of the world I had closed off for myself, just by avoiding all of these arguments everywhere. One of the biggest takeaways from learning to enjoy disagreement and seek out the productive kind is that the world just feels bigger. More people are accessible to you. More ideas can be explored. More things will make sense,. ultimately. You also say that we should ask questions that invite surprising answers. That's one of the most kind of actionable, useful tools in the book.
Have you ever had one of those arguments — whether with a friend or a colleague, a loved one or a perfect stranger — that you both vehemently disagree, and it boils your blood? Too often these days, arguments with people we disagree with feel impossible. We never solve anything but seem to succeed in hurting someone’s feelings. But what if it didn’t have to be that way? In his forthcoming book, “Why Are We Yelling?: The Art of Productive Disagreement” (Nov. 19), Buster Benson, who has worked for some of the world’s most successful companies, to help you have hard conversations in your relationships, engage people with different political viewpoints, and disagree with dignity.