273: People Pleasing Does Not Help Sex with Bea Albina
Better Sex
Intro
This chapter delves into the impacts of people-pleasing and codependency on interpersonal relationships. It emphasizes the need for self-awareness and prioritizing one's own desires to cultivate healthier connections with others.
In this episode of Better Sex, host sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman talks with Bea Albina about 'emotional outsourcing' - a concept she coined to describe chronic people-pleasing and codependency. Bea shares her personal journey of detachment from her body and how she transitioned to a more joyful and authentic life. They discuss the overlap between people-pleasing and codependency, how these behaviors manifest, and their impact on intimate relationships and sex. Bea offers practical advice on reconnecting with one’s body, establishing healthy boundaries, and reducing resentment in relationships. She also introduces techniques to calm the nervous system and the importance of self-awareness in fostering deep, meaningful connections.
00:00 Introduction to Better Sex Podcast
00:46 Guest Introduction: Bea Albina on People Pleasing
03:11 Understanding Emotional Outsourcing
05:27 Impact of Emotional Outsourcing on Relationships and Sex
08:10 Connecting with Your Body and Overcoming Disconnection
12:01 Practical Steps to Reconnect with Yourself
26:21 Tools to Calm the Nervous System
28:29 Conclusion and Resources
Interested in Jessa's resources for desire discrepancy? Visit https://www.desirediscrepancy.com
Beatriz (Béa) Victoria Albina, NP, MPH, SEP (she/her) is a UCSF-trained Family Nurse Practitioner, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, Master Certified Somatic Life Coach, author of the forthcoming "End Emotional Outsourcing: a Guide to Overcoming Codependent, Perfectionist and People Pleasing Habits" (expected Sept 30, Hachette Balance) and Breathwork Meditation Guide with a passion for helping humans socialized as women to reconnect with their bodies, regulate their nervous systems and rewire their minds, so they can break free from codependency, perfectionism and people pleasing and reclaim their joy.
She is the host of the Feminist Wellness Podcast, holds a Masters degree in Public Health from Boston University School of Public Health and a BA in Latin American Studies from Oberlin College. Born in Mar del Plata, Argentina, Béa grew up in the great state of Rhode Island. She has been working in health & wellness for over 20 years and lives with her wife, Billey Albina. You can find her on Instagram @beatrizvictoriaalbinanp and listen to her podcast, Feminist Wellness, here.
Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.
More info and resources:
Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast
Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast
How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com
The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com
The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com
Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com
Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass
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