I'm a huge believer in the power of books to transform. We would always deny them toys and games but any book was an automatic yes it didn't matter what the book was so long as they were interested in us buying it we would buy them that book. There's a book that my wife used to teach from, the title is how to talk so kids will listen how to listen so kids will talk. Again it's much easier to apply all of those lessons with PT children and post teenage children but more generally when it comes to family relationships.