Don't beat yourself up for procrastinating, it doesn't matter. Find a moment of pure happiness and understand what are the prerequisites for it. Be careful about your intellect which is going to want to give you answers in as substitutes for taking actions. Embrace adversity so ideal that those experiences are not like, super easy. And if you start doing these things, you will understand the nature of fulfilment. If you want life to be good, generally speaking, hopefully it'll be easier. Doesnit mean that it's free of pain, right? Just understand yourself, man or woman, or anything in between.