Is the Personality Taking Over and Losing Harmony?

The personality starts to view harmony as a lack of friction. Trying to create harmony by like omitting parts of oneself. And it's like trying to keep the wholeness going. By, by numbing other parts of oneself or things in the environment that seem to be disruptive to that sense of harmony so in a sense you are cutting yourself off from the actual essential harmony by doing. You're trying to take away disagreement. It seems from the personality level threatening to the whole even though these disagreements so to speak are part of the symphony. That accounts for a lot of the like the foggy sort of shifting thinking sometimes at 19 get into because it's like we can't all be