The Cautious Relationship Between a White Black Lady and a Citi-Do

Ace people often fall under the queer umbrella. It comes down to like the type, really. I want to be with a person who doesn't want to bone. And those are the most of the ace relationships I know. But it does provokes this thought though of like why do we have to have this coddle as subtext and eventually text in every conversation about this stuff?