Divorcing someone is never just about signing papers and moving on. There’s an emotional and psychological journey that often leaves people grappling with an array of challenges. In my latest podcast episode, I engage in a deep conversation with Bonnie Miller Ladds, a certified divorce coach, who has shaped her career by helping individuals navigate the turbulent waters of divorce. Bonnie’s unique approach, combining her skills as a therapist and a coach, brings invaluable insights into managing divorce effectively. But what exactly makes a divorce coach different from a traditional therapist? And how do they become the pillar of strength in such challenging times?

Listen to Bonnie’s definition of a divorce coach

Four Takeaways from this Episode

* There is no emotional justice in divorce; focus on your own well-being.

* Parallel parenting can be a practical solution for high-conflict divorces.

* Divorce coaches can provide invaluable guidance even before the divorce process begins.

* The importance of not transferring decision-making to your attorney – take ownership of your life.

Divorce is a Psychological Separation

One of the things that intrigue me most about Bonnie’s practice is her emphasis on staying in your own lane. She advises her clients to focus on their own emotional well-being rather than obsessing over their ex-partner's actions. This raises a question – how often do we get stuck in the pursuit of emotional justice, only to realize there’s no such thing? Bonnie explains that divorces are psychological separations, emphasizing the importance of accepting this new emotional space. How can people truly let go of their past when the temptation to ‘screw him to the wall’ as Bonnie puts it, is so strong? Listen to the podcast to understand why staying focused on yourself can be the real key to moving forward.

High-Conflict Divorces and Parallel Parenting

Bonnie also introduces the concept of parallel parenting, especially useful for high-conflict divorces. Unlike the harmony and negotiation often associated with co-parenting, parallel parenting involves each parent operating independently to minimize conflicts. What does it mean for parents and children? And how do parents navigate decisions around critical issues like the timing of handing a smartphone to their child when they have entirely different views? The answers aren't straightforward, but Bonnie provides a roadmap for managing these complex dynamics.

Pre-Divorce Coaching

Another compelling part of our discussion revolves around the role of divorce coaches pre-divorce. Bonnie highlights that divorce coaching isn’t just for those who have decided to split; it also guides those contemplating divorce. How does one sift through the emotional and practical aspects to make an informed decision? Bonnie’s insights could be the lifeline many need to truly understand the implications of such a monumental decision. Dive into the podcast to hear real-life examples, including the tough choices individuals face and how to approach them.

Catch the full episode to explore these topics in detail and learn from Bonnie Miller Ladd’s vast experience. Your journey through or toward a divorce might just need that essential guidance to see the morning light once again.

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