How to Say No to Others

2min Snip

00:00

Play full episode

Summary

Transcript

Episode notes

I'm shocked by that statistic. I know personally, for me, it's definitely hard when the person is standing right across from me, but 33 times is a lot. And I think your idea of putting some distance between you, maybe through technology, etc, can really reduce that. Yes, absolutely. In a research study that I published in the Journal of Consumer Research with Michael Watter, Henry Kaggret, we study how empowered refusal can be used as an effective way to self-regulate. When we hear ourselves talking with empowerment, we buy into that and are more likely to resist temptations like chocolate cake, chocolate cookies or that one extra podcast.

Saying no can seem risky. We worry about offending others, damaging relationships, or hurting our own reputation. But as Vanessa Patrick says, no is an empowering word that gives us greater agency in our lives.

Saying no “is not a rejection of the other person,” says Patrick, a professor of Marketing at the University of Houston. Instead, it allows you to set boundaries and “[give] voice to what you believe and what you care about.” In her book, The Power of Saying No, Patrick introduces what she calls “empowered refusal,” a way of saying no that’s rooted in one’s identity, values, priorities, and preferences. “An empowered no,” she says, “is about us, not a rejection of the other person.”

In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Patrick and host Matt Abrahams explore how to use the power of no, how to move from strategy forming to strategy implementation, and how to resist momentary pleasures that distract us from our larger goals.

Connect: