Do You Love Me, Mammy, or You O Kali?

Rice: When a child hits you because you've taken a toy away that they were throwing, let's tey rit and instead of, why are you hitting mommy? Why would you hurt mommy? It's much more effective because it's really addressing the underlying issue, the trigger for the child. You're giving them new, more effective tools, and you're not making it a relationship issue. And all these mind sed shifts are helpful to go back to the idea of controlling ourselves," she says.