So many of us spend our lives orienting around what other people think of us — seeking approval, avoiding disapproval, and constantly scanning for reassurance that we’re doing, saying, and being the “right” thing.
If you lean towards anxious attachment patterns, this makes perfect sense. The foundation of the anxious attachment pattern is an external orientation — learning to attune to others for safety, validation, and a sense of self. When we’ve never had a steady internal anchor, other people become our compass.
But that comes at a cost. We lose touch with our own truth — our values, our preferences, our intuition — and live our lives by borrowed standards. And the more we outsource our worth, the more fragile it becomes.
In this episode, we explore how to shift from being other-referenced to self-referenced:
- Why anxiously attached people are especially sensitive to others’ opinions
- How external orientation keeps us anxious and disconnected from ourselves
- What it actually means to develop an internal compass
- Practical steps to build self-trust and integrity
- How to tolerate disapproval without collapsing into shame
Ultimately, caring less about what others think isn’t about indifference — it’s about self-trust. When you truly respect and stand by yourself, other people’s opinions carry less weight. You stop needing to convince anyone of your worth, because you already know it.
