i don't remember how i felt at the time when rufe killed those people in the church, but thinking about it now, there's some part of me, i guess, that feels shame. In fact, i know i wouldn't forgive him, and i still don't. That inability says something about me that i'm not particularly proud of, but it's true. While i don't really believe in a hell, i wish there was one that he could go to. And i just have to live with the unease, because i don't feel great about feeling that, but it're what i feel.