Narcissism is a problem with families, because one person caves. Montra explains who the enablers are in your family and how to deal with them. She says they train other people to be responsible for their crappy behaviour. And then when that doesn't work, they try to escalate by refusing to eat or not showering others' affectionate attention on themselves. So why do we allow this? Because it makes us feel like love isn't being expressed properly.