"It's so weird that the deatht feels very theoretical, because the experience of the disease was really just, my ankle hurts and jogging isi is uncomfortable. And then it's been the treatment that vastly overtakes the disease in terms of unpleasantness and discomfort a but in order to undergo this hideous array of treatment, i have to operate on the assumption that i'm going to come out on the other side d and live a long life," she says. "You not fake it until you make it."