"Sometimes i just felt like i can't afford to hope right now," she says. "I had tried so hard to live without quite so many reasons, and i feel like ever since, all i've been doing is drowning in them." The desire to pour a void into the void of our suffering feels 'intriguing', but it's also part of insanity: we have to explain what's happening as if our lives are an indictment on ourselves.
Kate Bowler certainly thought so, until her entire belief system was thrown into question when she was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer at age 35.
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