"I think the first thing that i thought was denial. Despite the fact that i am most definitely middle aged now, there was a peroman sa," she says. "It felt different from having a baby and it felt different even from if i needed to have knee surgery or something." She adds: "The place where my mind went was this fear that people would hear that and say, well, i don't know that she's going to be able to do her job now"

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