Two Grief Styles: Action-Oriented vs. Expressive Processing

What if grief isn't something to "get over," but a biological process that reshapes your sense of self, capacity, and connection?

In this episode, co-hosts Elisabeth Kristof and Jennifer Wallace are joined by Piper Rose—founder of Shadowplay Coaching and Director of Operations and Continuing Education at NSI—to explore grief through the lens of neuroscience and the body.

Together, they examine how the brain and body respond to major transitions, why sensations like heaviness or ache are part of adaptive prediction, and how practices that mobilize breath, voice, and thoracic movement can support your physiology's innate ability to heal.

You'll hear why grief looks different for everyone—from action-oriented logistics to relational sharing—and how both are valid paths. The conversation moves through the concept of a minimum effective dose for grief work, the overlap between pain and emotional circuits, the role of co-regulation, and why meaning-making often comes later in the process.

Anger and sacred rage also get their space here—alongside pathways back to nourishment.

Whether you're navigating loss, identity transitions, or the transformations that come with growth, this episode offers grounded language, body-based tools, and community-centered practices to help you fall apart, be held, and reform with greater capacity.

Timestamps:

• 00:00 — Grief as a physiological process, not a problem to fix

• 06:30 — How the brain maps grief: interoception, prediction, pain circuits

• 14:10 — Two grief styles: action orientation and expressive processing

• 21:40 — Minimum-effective-dose grief practice and daily resourcing

• 29:00 — Anger inside grief, sacred rage, and safe expression

• 36:20 — Belonging, co-regulation, and being held by people or the earth

• 44:15 — Timing of meaning-making and avoiding premature silver linings

• 51:00 — Practical ways to start: personal, relational, and community supports

Key Takeaways:

• Grief is an adaptive social-threat response that updates your body's internal maps.

• The same networks tied to physical pain can interpret loss, which is why grief can ache.

• People grieve differently. Action and expression are both valid pathways.

• Small, repeatable practices help build capacity without overwhelm.

• Co-regulation and clear support reduce isolation and soften protective patterns.

Resources Mentioned:

• NeuroSomatic Intelligence (NSI) Foundations Bundle — Three on-demand workshops to integrate applied neuroscience and somatics into your work: https://neurosomaticintelligence.com/foundations

• BrainBased.com — Community using applied neurology and somatics: https://brainbased.com

• Shadowplay Coaching (Piper Rose) — Relationship and grief-support coaching.

If this episode supported you, subscribe and leave a review so others can find the show. Share it with someone who could use compassionate, science-informed language for grief.

If you're a coach, therapist, or practitioner ready to integrate applied neuroscience and somatics into your work, start with the NSI Foundations Bundle at NeurosomaticIntelligence.com/Foundations.

Disclaimer:

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