Is There a God in the Midst of the Suffering?

When i was a young seminary, and one of the things that i struggled or worked in a neonadal intensive care. And this summer i baptized over 20 babies, and all the babies died. And they come to me and they said, you know, tell me real quick, why did this happen? O this? This god, why did he allow this to happen? And i came to the place a couple of thigs. One is that i didn't have to defend god, like in my own mind and my own heart. There was something very freeing in that. It's the christian mystery of suffering,. That it ought not be something that we try to escape, but