Why arguments drain us

How often do you walk away from an argument feeling exhausted and misunderstood? Most of us go into an argument wanting to win. But trying to convince someone that you are right and they are wrong will leave you feeling drained. It will likely damage your relationship. Fortunately, you can turn a battle into a productive conversation with just a few phrases.

Today, I’m sharing three simple sentences that can stop a conflict in its tracks. Whether you're arguing with your spouse, or you're sensing the tension at work, these three sentences can de-escalate things while also preserving your relationship.

Some of the things I talk about are:

• What "emotional flooding" is and why it shuts down the logical part of your brain
• How your brain’s "angry memories" can derail a conversation
• The first sentence that forces you to pause and truly listen
• Why validating someone's feelings doesn't mean you agree with them
• The science behind how feeling understood calms the nervous system
• One courageous sentence that breaks the blame game and invites accountability
• How to use these three sentences together to turn conflict into resolution

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Related Episodes

• 195 — Stop Avoiding Conflict: The Secret to Building Stronger Relationships and a Stronger You with Dr. John Eliot
• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠67 — Stop Trying to Fix Your Partner and Focus on Yourself

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