Food, FOMO, and Social Anxiety

’Twas 12 days after Christmas, when we gathered in the valley,

To record a podcast and reflect on our holiday glee.

We had dashed through L.A., to a glittering A-List soirée,

To eat pizza and sliders at Charlize Theron’s chalet.

Trixie ran into Paul Feig, a multi-Emmy nominee,

But congratulated him, instead, on a bit part from the 90s.

Such awkwardness made her hungry, so she eyed the pizza pie,

But Sofia Vergara blocked the way, and she couldn't get by.

Instead of battling the gorgeousness, she took a circuitous route,

Dodging Vergara's radiance and a tray of Brussels sprouts.

As the dolls danced and grew tired, they eventually went home,

But still full of cheer, Katya whipped out her phone.

And lo, on Grindr, there appeared a man with looks and class,

An absolute winner, with an immaculate ass.

Katya ate so much butt that the next day alas,

Her tongue grew sore, her lips chapped like broken glass.

But excess is allowed, so they have no regrets,

This was a holiday season they shall not soon forget.

So as 2026 begins, we want everyone to hear:

Happy Holidays to all, and to all a Wonderful New Year!

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