The first part of spontaneous speaking is listening in a way to figure out what is needed. In silence, you give permission for people to step forward and say things that they might not normally say. When somebody tells you something, when somebody asks you in the moment for feedback, ask a question. What type of feedback are you looking for? Are you looking for feedback about what happened or how you felt? A certain type of question I think is very powerful is to ask for what you didn't hear.

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