You should only get back together with your x if both of you are committed to working on the problems that made you exis. It's not about them having changed or you having changed. Both you'll have to be committed to fix whatever crap caused you all to break up in the first place. You help your partner grow, and you support them by investing heavily in yourself so that they don't have to carry all the time. The best thing you can do to help you your partner is to start carrying your fair share and focus on yourself.