The New Year's Resolutions Are Beautiful

The front page this week is a picture of some sexy fireworks. Lines on the front page include click bait headlines asking questions you already know the answer to, are they as depressing as they are annoying? And will you click on them anyway? The satirical cartoon this week is the ghosts of christmas past, present at future, receiving coved close contact alerts on their phones. Our first section is a tex section, and our top story is a t v screen you can taste.