325: Summer Series: Finding your True Self with Dr. Shefali
The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair
Do We Need Approval, Validation and Praise?
"We train our girls to need the crumbs of love and worth fo their parents," she says. "By time the girl grows into a woman, she's already doomed." She adds that women are training each other to be enslaved within the patriarch. 'Now we've put successful ontepene on top of that'
The world around us demands so much of us. If we’re not careful, it can erode our souls, steal our true selves and get us to believe lies about the source of our worth. We have to become conscious and aware to step into our true power and a whole, awakened life.
I have been a huge fan of Dr. Shefali for years. I got SO much out of her work on conscious parenting when my kids were young, and it’s no wonder she’s become so well known for her work. But her new book might just be my favorite yet — I truly couldn’t put it down (it’s SO aligned with The Adult Chair®) — and I’m beyond thrilled to have her on the show to discuss how to have a radical (and beautiful) awakening in life.
In this conversation, we explore the way our ego and our social conditioning covers up the true self and keeps us from living free lives. This can be especially true for those oriented towards giving, nurturing and connecting. Society takes these gifts and trains us to be outward focused, seeking praise, validation and approval instead of turning inward and claiming who we really are.
Dr. Shefali shares her own story of awakening, when she realized that despite her work, she was living in the “matrix” and ignoring her true wants and needs to try to get love from others (what she calls the “beggar” mentality). By going deep into the often difficult work of looking at the ego and the masks we all wear, she was able to strip away the lies and see what was true — and step into the authentic self-love and self-care we all deserve.
Listen to discover:
- Shefali’s own radical awakening
- The trap women (and men) fall into
- How to stop suppressing the true self
- What soul erosion is and how it forms
- The “triple threat” women face in childhood
- The role of the ego in our life
- What keeps us from awakening (especially in our culture)
This is a profound conversation that will take the blinders off and change what you think is normal, while inspiring you to strive for what is truly possible for you — and for all of us.
“We, women especially, need to snap out of our chronic civility, helplessness and unworthiness.” - Dr. Shefali
“We cannot waste our life never discovering our true self.” - Dr. Shefali
“When we’re told we can only be given worth when we put others before ourselves, now that giving heart leads to an obliteration of ourselves.” - Dr. Shefali
“We’re so disconnected from our true self, we don’t know who we are at all.” - Michelle Chalfant
“The way out is in. We have to go in to heal.” - Michelle Chalfant
“I want what’s on the other side of that wall, but you got to go through the wall, and the wall is our pain.” - Michelle Chalfant
“We tell ourselves the greatest stories in the world, and we don’t know we’re telling ourselves stories.” - Dr. Shefali
“The greatest narcissism is to pretend you’re not a queen or a king and not own your voice.” - Dr. Shefali
Resources
“A Radical Awakening” Book and Course
Dr. Shefali Website
Free Inner Child Resource
https://theadultchair.com/innerchild
More Adult Chair
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership
https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Events
https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification
https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/
Stay Connected
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
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