What 'sexy' and shame look like now

Premature ejaculation, tantra, rope, and group sex—Leo shares how he transformed lifelong sexual shame into a deeply embodied, sensual Dominant power that’s reshaped his relationships, parenting, and pleasure.

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📈 STATS | 45 hetero-flexible cis male, Danish, into: kink, rope play, group play, gangbangs, tantra.

⏰ TIME CODE

00:00 Condom confidence and what “sexy” feels like now

02:44 Growing up on a dairy farm, early arousal, and the first glimpses of consent

07:04 First partnered sex, premature ejaculation, and seven years of avoiding intimacy

11:07 Masturbation habits, rowing career discipline, and learning to pleasure partners with hands and mouth

16:08 Cultivating sensitivity, connection, and confidence through practice

17:21 Trauma, grief, and how a devastating accident reshaped his marriage and sexuality

20:01 Opening their marriage, jealousy, desire, and years of non-monogamous exploration

22:10 The tantric woman who told him “you cannot come,” fear, bliss, and the moment everything changed

26:06 Trying to bring tantra home, mismatch with his wife, and the beginning of the end of their marriage

28:16 Sex-positive communities, Sunday Clubs, and learning to be a sexual being around other people

31:13 Rope as sensuality—kinbaku, shibari, and discovering how tying feels like using his whole body

34:17 Dominance, dirty talk, and why he’s a sensual top

39:59 Porn expectations and learning to savor erotic energy

42:26 Creativity born from “coming too fast,” sensual play, and building sexual skills

47:14 Trauma-aware partner selection, emotional responsibility, and navigating triggers

49:46 Turn-ons, turn-offs, and when he feels most alive

53:01 MFMs, group play, sex clubs, and why intimacy matters more than spectacle

59:39 Where he comes, where partners want it, and the joy of messy sensuality

01:00:14 Private porn, sexting boundaries, and what it’s like teaching sex ed

01:02:18 Submissive partners, rope dates, and upcoming explorations

01:05:09 Being a sexual person and a parent

01:06:00 Advice to younger self: keep believing your body’s truth and creating a world where people can connect more deeply

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🤩 TOPICS | Anal play, anxiety around sexuality, bare-handed stimulation, big breasts bondage harness, blowjob control, body language cues, bodily arousal, bondage floorwork, brat dynamics, breathwork during sex, Christian boarding school, clitoral stimulation, coming too fast, condom use conversations, connection through touch, controlling ejaculation, dairy farm upbringing, deep throat play, dominance energy, dominant roleplay, early masturbation habits, erotic breath patterns, erotic connection building, erotic rope techniques, female pleasure focus, feeling unworthy sexually, fingering skills, first sexual experiences, gagging and throat stuffing, gangbang experiences, group intimacy, guilt around sex, hand stimulation, healing through sex, hetero-flexible encounters, kink exploration, kinbaku practice, learning through porn, libido changes, lifting shame, long-term marriage dynamics, masturbation magazines, mutual sensing, nipple play, non-penetrative sexuality, orgasm control, parental guidance challenges, partner feedback, penis sensitivity, personal sexual growth, pleaser identity, porn-influenced expectations, post-divorce intimacy, premature ejaculation challenges, reading erotic novels, relationship mismatches, responsibility in kink, rope harness techniques, rope top identity, safe partner selection, sensual kissing, sensual rope sessions, sex club culture, sex-positive social circles, sexual awakening, sexual confidence building, sexual exploration after divorce, sexual frustration, sexual healing, sexual history storytelling, sexual navigation skills, sexual self-discovery, shame reduction, shibari learning, skillful oral sex, spanking tools, submissive partners, swinger parties, tantric breath, tantric partner sessions, teaching youth sex ed, throat fucking, trusting body sensations, underhand masturbation grip, using balls during oral, using pressure points, vaginal stimulation techniques.

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