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The Conditional Love Paradigm
The idea of perfect is an illusion in and of itself. It's something you could strive for, but not something that you should judge yourself against because it's an impossibility. So everybody is holding grievances against themselves. And those grievances then prevent us from allowing ourselves to feel the love that we should feel for ourselves. The adjudicator is our own psyche, super ego, whatever,. That doles out how much love we give for ourselves.