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I Don't Want Free Rein, I Just Want to Do What I Want
A child doesn't thank their parents for giving them rules. But those standards and structures are actually what makes a child feel safe. A 21 year old who is left to his own devices can do whatever he wants, but there's a point at which the novelty of that wears off. The guy in that situation sees, you know this, this person's not confident enough to ask for what they want. It creates an unstable situation because you don't really know who that person is.