Narcissists have an ego that compensates the feelings of guilt and superiority, shame. When you pay them genuine compliment, praise, show appreciation, acknowledgement, ask for their advice, you are giving them a oxygen supply. If they're a genuine narcissist, you want to allow for them to see you as a conduit to feeling good.
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David Lieberman, Ph.D., is a renowned psychotherapist and the author of eleven books, including the New York Times bestsellers Get Anyone to Do Anything and Never Be Lied to Again. He has trained personnel in the U.S.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote: “People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.” A person looks at the world as a reflection of themselves. If they see the world as corrupt, they feel on some level that they are corrupt. If they see honest working people, that is frequently how they see themselves.
- “How someone treats you is a reflection of their own emotional health and says everything about them and nothing about you.”
- Speaking negatively behind someone’s back orients you to look for the negative in others. Wouldn’t we rather spend time with people who seek the greatness in others?
- “The less emotionally healthy a person is, the more they denigrate the world to accommodate their own insecurities.”
- Knowledge is not power. Knowledge is a tool. How it is wielded makes all of the difference. Real power is the responsible application of knowledge.
- Word usage: Let’s take the example of giving a compliment. A woman who believes what she’s saying is more likely to use a personal pronoun. For instance, “I really liked your presentation.” However, a person offering insincere flattery might say, “Nice presentation,” or “Looks like you did a lot of research.” In the second case, she has removed herself from the equation.
- The Art of reading the bluff - When a person is bluffing, they are managing others’ impressions to convey the “right” effect and serve a personal agenda. Conversely, the authentic person is not interested in how they come across because they are unconcerned with their image.
- “People who bluff habitually overcompensate, so you can uncover a bluff instantly by noticing how someone tries to appear.”
- Relationships: Whenever David speaks to couples, he's always on the lookout when the word we is conspicuously absent from the conversation.
- We are attracted to positivity. It reflects humility.
- "Humility connects you to the ownership of mistakes."
- Humility can recognize a weakness in self.
- The difference between a sociopath and a psychopath:
- A sociopath has no conscious. They are very dangerous.
- A psychopath's wiring is off. They were born that way.
- Life and career advice: Find a passion that contributes to the world.
- Don't get too caught up in image or ego.
- "You can be anything. you're good at. as long as they're hiring." -- Chris Rock
