The boop rule: facing fears directly

In this episode, Duane Osterlind sits down with author Dana Bowman to discuss the often-overlooked intersection of long-term recovery and menopause. Dana opens up about her journey through "the second reckoning"—a period where hormonal shifts triggered intense anxiety, suicidal ideation, and the resurfacing of addictive behaviors like sugar addiction and "doom scrolling."

They explore the concept of process addictions, the importance of self-advocacy in medical settings, and how creativity can serve as a vital tool for navigating the "identity attack" that often accompanies aging. Dana’s story is a powerful reminder that recovery isn't a destination, but a deepening process that requires grace, honesty, and a willingness to "boop the monster on the nose."

Key Discussion Points

• The "Invisible" Struggle of Menopause: Dana discusses how menopause is one of the least researched medical conditions, despite having over 70 potential symptoms. She highlights the specific danger for women in recovery: how hormonal anxiety can mimic the "dark days" of active addiction.
• Process Addictions in Recovery: When the biological substance (alcohol) is removed, other behaviors often rush in to fill the void. Dana shares her personal struggle with sugar addiction, binge eating, and digital escapism as ways to cope with menopausal distress.
• The Identity Attack: Aging and menopause can lead to "Invisible Woman Syndrome." Dana explains how surrendering to this new phase of life is similar to the initial surrender in early sobriety.
• The "Boop" Rule: A family strategy for facing fears. Instead of running from anxiety or shame, Dana teaches listeners to look the "clown" in the eye and "boop" it on the nose—acknowledging its presence without letting it take control.
• Medical Self-Advocacy: The importance of finding healthcare providers who understand the nuances of addiction and recovery when treating hormonal or mental health issues.

The Spectrum of Menopause Symptoms

Menopause is far more than just "hot flashes." It affects the physical, emotional, and cognitive systems, which can be particularly destabilizing for those maintaining long-term sobriety.

CategoryCommon Symptoms MentionedPhysicalJoint aches, insomnia, changes in hair/skin, exhaustion.EmotionalSevere anxiety, panic attacks, depression, suicidal ideation.BehavioralReturn of "shame circles," hiding behaviors, sugar cravings.Memorable Quotes

"Alcoholism waited for me... and that’s how I felt about the menopause symptoms because they’re so sneaky. You feel like your whole body is betraying you."

"Recovery is all about acceptance and surrender. It’s hard when it’s your own identity to really say, 'Who am I anymore?'"

"There are times when my soul just needs to be wrapped in bubble wrap, and I just really need to hunker down into that. And it's okay. It’s rest."

Resources Mentioned

• Dana’s New Book: Humble Pie: Sober Menopause, Sugar Addiction, and The Sweetness of Recovery
• Dana’s Previous Books: Bottled and How to be Perfect Like Me2
• Website: DanaBowmanCreative.com
• Social Media: Follow Dana on TikTok and Instagram @theDanaBo

If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center

NovusMindfulLife.com

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