What Do You Want Out of Life?

This week’s question is about finding new goals when you have achieved many of your life’s gals already.

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Episode 215 | Script

Hello and welcome to episode 215 of the Working With Podcast. A podcast to answer all your questions about productivity, time management, self-development and goal planning. My name is Carl Pullein and I am your host for this show.

Now, we often hear about how to achieve goals, what habits to develop and change our lives. But what do you do when you have achieved many of your long-term goals and what remains no longer inspire you? 

Not much is written or spoken about that. It’s as if the assumption is people struggle to achieve goals. Well, that’s not entirely true. It is hard to achieve goals, that as it should be. But it doesn’t mean we don’t achieve them. We do. 

So. I’m going to tackle that question this week.

Now before we get to the question, if you would like to receive all my weekly published content in one single place, then subscribe to my newsletter. Not only will you get links to my content, you also get a FREE productivity tip plus notice of any special offers before anyone else. 

It’s free and if you want to grow your skills in productivity, time management and goal setting (and achievement) then go ahead and subscribe today. The link to sign up is in the show notes. 

Okay. It’s time to hand you over to the Mystery podcast Voice for this week’s question. 

This week’s question is from Tim. Tim asks: Hi Carl, I have been fortunate in that I have achieved many of my life's goals. Those that I haven't achieved . . . well, they're just not attractive to me anymore. The problem is I now feel lost without having some goals. How do I find new goals?

Hi Tim, thank you for the question. 

One thing humans need is to be continually growing. That does not necessarily mean physically grow, but grow mentally. When we stop growing, we can feel depressed and down and lost. What keeps us moving forward is something to achieve. That could be a certain lifestyle, a new knowledge or even a business. 

No matter what it is, our minds (and bodies) need exercising and that exercise is how we grow. 

When we are young, fresh from school, it’s likely we will have a lot of ideas and ambitions. We are a little naive then, and we think we are immortal and can achieve anything. Then life punches us in the face and we realise that all the things we’ve dreamed about accomplishing is not as easy to achieve as we first thought. 

Apparently, statically, 97% of people will stop at this point and just accept life as it is and give up their dreams and ambitions. It’s easier to blame life and our circumstances than to stand out and be different and go after our dreams—the things that other people around us say are crazy or impossible to do. 

The three percent who do go after their dreams and goals and accepts that their life is 100% their responsibility, are the ones who are goal driven, focused and never stop growing their skills and abilities.

But there comes a natural point where most of those goals and dreams have been achieved. Then what? What do you do then? 

I remember, the first time I completed a marathon. It was amazing. The sense of accomplishment was incredible. There was this smile on my face. I felt I could achieve anything. Those feelings lasted all of about an hour. After that I began thinking now what? 

You see, achieving your goals will not give you a lifetime of fulfilment. That sense of pride and fulfilment doesn’t last. 

A goal, as Damon Cart talked about in this podcast a few weeks ago, is just a stepping stone to something much bigger. And I mean much much bigger. 

The real question to ask yourself is what do I want out of life? Who, or what do I need to become to accomplish that? 

Now, one place you are likely to find the answers to these questions is in your areas of focus. These are the eight areas of life that are important to us. Some are obvious such as health, family and friends and finances. But the other five are just as important. Your career or business, your spirituality, your self development, lifestyle and life’s purpose will all come into the mix at some point. 

I’ve recently finished reading a new biography of Ian Fleming, my writing hero. For those who don’t know, Ian Fleming was the creator and writer of the James Bond novels. 

Throughout the 1950s, Ian Fleming achieved everything he desired. He attained all his goals. At the start of the decade he built his dream home in Jamaica, he married the woman he loved and he published “a spy novel to end all spy novels” when he published Casino Royale in 1953. 

Throughout the 1950s, Ian Fleming achieved all the goals he set out to achieve. The success of the James Bond novels made him a multi-millionaire, it allowed him to become an independent writer and live the lifestyle he had always dreamed of. 

At the end of the decade, was he happy? No. His marriage was breaking down, his health was failing him and he became embroiled in a legal battle involving his book, Thunderball. 

Towards the end of his life, Ian Fleming had one remaining goal. That was to become the club captain at the Royal St George’s Golf Club in Kent, England. He finally achieved that goal when he was announced as the club captain on the 12 August 1964—the day he died of a heart attack. 

Despite all the success the James Bond novels brought Ian Fleming. The fame, the fortune and lifestyle, the one thing he valued most was his golfing friends. Golf was a big part of his life, but it wasn’t until towards the end of his life he came to realise that the friendships he developed on the golf course and in the club house and writing—whether that was books or articles for The Sunday Times newspaper—were the most important things in his life. 

If you look at the eight areas of focus, friendships and career / business were important parts of Ian Fleming’s life. Career or business because his career was spent largely in journalism and writing. 

Two years before his death, Ian Fleming, wrote a book called Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. It was a children’s book about a flying car. It was going to be the start of a new career—writing children books. He decided he wanted to become famous not just for writing spy fiction, but also to be a children’s book author. 

Often even though you may have retired from your professional life, the skills and abilities you learned during your career, hold a part of you that you love doing. 

My father is a great example of this. My father’s a farmer. He has been all his life. He retired in 1999, sold the family farm in the UK and promptly bought a small farm in Ireland. There’s little pressure for him to make money, now it’s a labour of love. 

He still wakes up reasonably early to go out and feed the animals. He’s an avid poultry shower—he raises hens to show in events around the country each year and that is where most of his goals come from each year. Winning the all Ireland Championship. 

So, Tim, Where are you interests now? That’s where I would start. What interests you? 

If you have most of your areas of focus covered, are there any areas you feel need attention? Often you will find new goals and ways to grow in there. 

But that’s not all you can do. I would suggest trying new things. Go to a mountain retreat in a far off country, learn to surfboard, take a rally driving course, learn to horse ride or do archery (or both!) 

You could set a goal to try ten new things over the next ten years. Commit to learning something new for twelve months. I have a friend who did this in her mid-thirties. She decided she would learn ten new skills over the decade. The first one was to learn English fluently—she did that, the second was to learn to swim. One of the goals was also to write a book. 

When she embarked on this ten year journey, the energy and excitement in her eyes was there for everyone to see. To her, failure was not an option. 

And yes, she did learn ten new things between 2005 and 2015. The funny thing was by the end of 2015, she’d already written a list of ten new things to go after in the next ten years. Can you imagine the life she’s living? 

But the most important thing about my friend’s ten year goal, was the amazing positive change in her. Once she’s achieved her first goal, her confidence was sky high. I remember the celebration we all had when she finished learning English. Not only was she pretty much fluent, but she was now surrounded by people from all over the world. Twelve months previously the only friends she had were from Korea. Now she had international friends as well . 

Goals do not have to be high and lofty. They can be small little things you could do on a weekend. I have a former client who after retiring decided to restore an old car. The car he bought was around $700. I cannot remember the name of the car, but I do remember the excitement in his voice when he told me he’d picked up the car and put it in his garage. 

The car didn’t run, it was over forty years old—I remember it was a car he’d always wanted when he was in his early twenties. He had to learn how to rebuild an engine, repair rust damage and so much more. 

That’s like me finding an old Ford Escort RS Cosworth and restoring it. WOW! Just thinking about that excites me. The fact that the Escort Cosworth was never sold in Korea, doesn’t deter me. I’d find a way to get one. 

So there you go Tim. I hope these examples have given you some ideas. There’s a lot you could do. A lot you could try. Perhaps start with a country retreat somewhere special. Take a notebook with you and write out all the things you could do over the next ten years that would excite you. 

Thank you for your question and thank you to you for listening. It just remains for me now to wish you all a very very productive week.