So the let's say there is a there is the feminist self and there is the patriarchal self and they are actually in an argumentative position against each other. So at the end of the day all right he rules and then they also put the really offensive thing over there is that the Buddha is supposed to have said that if it was good to last a thousand years it'll only last 500 years now and stuff like that's a very deeply misogynist statement that he's making but if you actually now so one way of thinking about this is that perhaps this is the tradition that is the the dominant ideology is put in the mouth of the Buddha and the critical ideology is put in the mouth of Ananda but there is an internal debate actually so it isn't it isn't so easy to say that it was settled and settled forever and then if you look at the Therigatha and the hymns of the Therigatha how is it that they not only are they speaking the way they want but why is that stuff so soaked with compassion it's soaked with amazing compassion and that is being put in the mouth of the Buddha you know so the famous story of the woman who Kisa Gautami who loses all the members of her family her father mother brother everyone dies husband dies in-laws die and she's left with only the small baby this child which is a male child and then he too dies and then she's mad with grief which is maddened with grief and she's really running her work with that child and asking for it to be revived and some kindly souls sees that she's not herself that she's actually so crazed with grief that you can't argue with her and talk to her so he suggests you go and see the Buddha and eats a bullseye on that because he goes she goes to the Buddha and says revive him and the Buddha then gives that famous story of metaphor go and get me he knows that she there's no point talking to a rationally at this point so he sets something to her and he says go and get me a handful of mustard seeds from any house where death has not occurred and she goes from one house to the other to the other to the other by the time she reaches the other end of the village she's entered the stream of philosophical quest she's already on the road to do thing because the realization draws on her so he's functioned like a psychologist and he's told her he's not told her this is what you should do but he's shown her a path by which she herself is it's self-realization that she's doing so I think those are so compassionate so moving ways and it's very consistent all the stories of death and bemoaning death of children is in the mouth of mothers now it's like the fathers never felt any grief or pain but that's a it's like a it's a trope perhaps you know but on the other hand you point out that during partition when families were fleeing there were times where the father would want to leave the youngest kid behind because it was a burden and you point to one case where the mother said no fucking way no no no yeah yeah so actually it's very interesting the manner in which this is thing and in the end so there's a systematic way where men go and join the Sangha but there's a very interesting way in which women are joining the Sangha it is partly against the rules there too it's against hard labor sometimes it's they saw that or the other but the death ones are very moving and then the teaching of the inevitability of death is also very powerfully rendered you know there's another one which I used in one of my films where the mother's lost her child and she's actually the queen and so she's ending up in the channel field with her cremation ground and she's calling