The Social Costs of Saying No

Amy and Margaret tackle one of women's most exhausting challenges: the nonstop onslaught of small asks, random requests, invisible labor, and mental load that quietly drains them. They break down why saying "no” to additional responsibilities is not laziness, and why "just say no to" is actually not a realistic option in many situations.

Drawing on real-life examples, Amy and Margaret explore the emotional calculus behind every “yes,” the hidden costs of over-accommodating, and why moms often feel pressure to be endlessly available. They offer practical scripts, boundary strategies, and mindset shifts to help you pause before automatically agreeing, tolerate the discomfort of disappointing others, and value your own limits.

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

• Our Fresh Take with Corinne Low
• Our episode "Getting Better at Saying No"
• Katharine Ridgway O'Brien: "Just Saying "No": An Examination of Gender Differences in the Ability to Decline Requests in the Workplace."
• Kristin Wong for the NYT: Why You Should Learn to Say ‘No’ More Often
• Kate Manne on Substack: Our Boundaries Will Not Save Us
• Kate Manne on Substack: Your Annual Reminder: You Do Not Have to Be a Giving Tree

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