Challenging shame-based beliefs

Most men battling porn addiction think their problem is “lust,” “self-control,” or “not being disciplined enough.” But for millions of men, the real issue is something far deeper—and far more common—than they realize.

In this powerful and eye-opening episode, I sit down with Dr. Doug Carpenter, licensed psychologist and author of the groundbreaking book Secret Shame, to uncover the hidden link between male sexual abuse, childhood sexual trauma, shame, and porn addiction.

What Doug reveals in this conversation is staggering—and every man needs to hear it.

For decades, men have been suffering in silence. Many grew up believing that what happened to them wasn’t “real” abuse. Others felt that their body’s response meant they “wanted it,” “caused it,” or that something was fundamentally wrong with them. Most never told anyone.

But the truth is this:
Male sexual trauma is far more common than reported—and its impact on a man’s sexuality, masculinity, and identity is enormous.

And for many, it becomes the hidden engine powering porn addiction, compulsive sexual behavior, PIED (porn-induced erectile dysfunction), and emotional avoidance in adulthood.

In this episode, we unpack how early exposure, sexual imprinting, and shame wire the brain toward addictive behavior—and how men can finally begin to heal through neuroscience-backed practices, spiritual grounding, trauma-informed support, and masculine emotional leadership.

This is not a heavy, dark episode. This is a hopeful one—filled with clarity, compassion, truth, and a real recovery roadmap.

In This Episode, We Explore:

• Why one in six men have experienced some form of sexual abuse—and why most don’t disclose for 25+ years
• How childhood sexual trauma, early sexual exposure, and porn imprint the developing brain
• The neuroscience behind compulsive sexual behavior and why willpower alone fails
• The truth about sexual identity confusion and why it’s the #1 side effect of male sexual abuse
• Why your body’s response during abuse does not define your sexuality, masculinity, or identity
• How shame becomes the fuel source for porn addiction
• The survivor’s journey from victim → survivor → thriver
• How to start healing sexual shame and rebuilding healthy masculinity
• Why trauma-informed therapy and brotherhood are essential for overcoming porn
• What real recovery looks like when men stop fighting themselves and start understanding themselves

Explore more of Doug’s work at HusbandMaterial.com.
Want to dive deeper into his insights? Visit: douglascarpenter.com

Link to Blog Article for this Episode

If you’re ready to build the mindset and lifestyle that lead to long-term freedom from porn addiction, visit NoMoreDesire.com and apply for my 1-on-1 Porn Addiction Recovery Coaching Program. You’ll gain the structured tools, accountability, and training you need to transform not only your habits—but your heart.

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