Ecology Checks and Systemic Change

Ever found yourself trying to fix a problem with your spouse or kids—only to make it worse? Yeah, me too. In today's episode, I sat down with Josh Davis, a neuroscientist, author, and master of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), to explore how the way we communicate—our words, tone, body language, and mindset—can shape the emotional responses of those we love most.

Josh didn't just explain NLP; he showed it in action—by putting me in the hot seat. We talked real-life scenarios that dads like us face daily, from explosive moments with kids to feeling emotionally disconnected from our spouses. Josh walked me through powerful, science-backed communication tools that shifted my perspective in real time. Trust me, this episode isn't just about theory—it's a game changer that could transform how you show up in your marriage, fatherhood, and even your inner dialogue.

Timeline Summary

[0:00] - Introduction

[1:19] - Common communication missteps with our wives and kids

[2:07] - What is NLP and why every dad should care

[6:56] - Josh's background and why NLP is his passion

[12:06] - Comparing NLP to cognitive behavioral therapy

[14:10] - Real-world examples of how NLP creates breakthroughs

[23:25] - Josh's personal story about improving his marriage through NLP

[33:21] - A deep-dive NLP coaching session with me as the guinea pig

[40:00] - Identifying limiting beliefs and how they shape our behavior

[42:00] - The surprising power of body language in father-child connection

[45:04] - How to build rapport with your kids through posture and tone

[54:12] - Reframing limiting beliefs our kids express

[57:00] - Simple language tweaks to open emotional doors

[1:01:20] - A tactical breakdown of how to validate emotions without enabling

Key Takeaways

1. Stop Fixing, Start Connecting – Your instinct to solve may actually be creating distance; connection begins with emotional validation.
2. NLP Isn't Magic—It's Strategy – Small shifts in language, posture, and tone can create big breakthroughs in how others respond to you.
3. Meet People Where They Are – Emotional safety starts with joining your child or partner in their current state before trying to lead them somewhere else.
4. Your Body Talks Too – Mirroring posture and energy isn't manipulation—it's subconscious empathy that builds trust.
5. Change Begins with You – Whether it's marriage, parenting, or personal beliefs, the transformation starts by examining your internal dialogue and behavior.

Links & Resources

• Josh Davis' Book: https://www.amazon.com/Difference-that-Makes-Science-Positive/dp/1250349087
• thedadedge.com/soulmates
• joshdavisphd.com/dads
• Podcast Show Notes: thedadedge.com/1401

If this episode sparked some ah-ha moments, hit that follow button, leave a review, and share it with a fellow dad who's ready to level up his communication and connection at home.