To be understood requires understanding. Arguments about stuff are really arguments about stories, TK says. If you're having conflict with people that you love about stuff Back up and connect with them over the story express curiosity About the story And what this will do is it will either give you new options for how you can fulfill the goal of the story Or it can give you a way of dealing with the stuff that you previously didn't imagine. You get to be closer to them I think about Harry Potter where Harry says to Dumbledore Is this real or is it just in my head? And Dumbledore says it's just in your head But why would you think that makes it any less real? Yes,