Ostrich eggs are the laziest shit you have ever seen. They're basically hedging their bets with respect to producing their young because a lot of them are going to get picked off by predators over time. Ostrages? All the other birds look up to you because you were literally nine feet tall. Can you get it together? And now they also have super thick shells because they have to drop like 12 feet from an ostrich's cloaca to the ground.

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