The Code of Pendency

As a young, 20 something year old woman on the path to recovery, specifically as it relates to codependency, i realized that over the years, i my sense of self was reliance upon how other people viewed me. I got purpose out of seeing myself as the person who was needed in the group. If i didn't get validation, then i felt like i had no purpose. It was far too easy for me to spiral downward and to develop shame. The code of pendency was a way that, in fawning and chasing after people's approval,. Was a way that i to keep the shame monster away. Very jus functional, and it landed me in one toxic relationship